Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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