This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
