i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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