apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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