I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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