I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
