my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
my being single is dangerous.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
