That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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