The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
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