it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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