She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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