you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
