You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
