I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
