Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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