You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
