Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
