Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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