Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
