Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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