Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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