remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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