Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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