Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
