"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
