her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
