how can u be prego again
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
