Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
