guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
