So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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