she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
