'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I need moral support for this bender
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
