You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
