oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
