he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
