Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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