hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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