Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Randomize
