it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Mom said you looked used
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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