She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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