erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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