I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
