Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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