don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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