If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
