I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I have grass duct taped all over my body
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
please don't ironically join a cult
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