You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
we're making bets on your personal life
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
