Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
