I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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