The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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